beauty in the breakdown [cal/mimi]

[Mezamashii Hatsumei]

ooc: Cameo by Ryan and Tommy, YAY! xDD

[Seishou Tougyo]

He was floating, drifting between consciousness and sleep. It was a happy place to be, floating gently in and out of awareness as the light slowly filtered in to the room. Every now and then, Cal would snuffle and start, but he would soon drift again. His eyes were glued shut, heavy with the nights sleep. It wasn't often that he had such a good nights sleep, because of the whole energy thing, but that previous night had been a relief. The bags were beginning to receed from his eyes. All he had to do was catch up on a few more hours and he would be good.

BANG!

The sound ripped through Cal and he was bolt upright in moments, launching himself out of bed within the next few nanoseconds. He was braced against the wall, hands spread wide, body posture low to the ground as he searched the room. It was rull of smoke, but the window was beginning to suck out the screening smoke so Cal could just see an outline against the window. Confusion swept over him as Mimi's figure came in to veiw. It took only a moment for his protective side to kick in. He started forward, hand reached towards Mimi as he warned her.

"Mimi! Get down, theres a--" He never got to finish his sentence as the smoke cleared, revealing the blonde holding the gun in question. He stopped dead in his tracks, gazing at her in wonder. "Oh..."

He spoke softly, trying depseratly to calm her down. She was angry, far angrier than he had ever seen her before. Then again, he hadn't ever seen her angry before, so the expression on her face was alien to him. For a startled second, Cal glanced at Tommy's bed, relieved when he found it empty. He shouldn't be here to witness this. His golden eyes travelled quickly to the walls, the ceiling and finally the ground. There was a large whole in the ground, the target of Mimi's gun. A shudder ran up his spine as he realised just how close the bullett had been from his bed.

"Mimi.... Mimi put the gun down, please?"

He pleaded, his golden eyes trying desperatly to catch hold of hers. If he could just look at her, then maybe he could tell her that he didnt have a clue as to what was going on. Maybe he couldn't, but it was worth a shot. His whole body was rigid with tension as he waited, breathing short breaths to keep himself from running away. He wouldn't run, he needed to find out why Mimi was about to shoot him. But there was something about the way she held the gun that told him she knew exactly how to handle the thing, and running probably wouldn't work either. A panicked glance towards the door and he was back again, searching her for any clue as to what the hell was going on. For as far as he could tell, he had done nothing to provoke such an action from his tiny dancer.

[Mezamashii Hatsumei]

He moved fast, she'd give him that. There was some impressive if not reflexive speed as he threw himself from the bed. She couldn't see his exact actions, due to the haze but she didn't need to see every limb to guess what he was doing. Flattening himself against the wall she'd imagine, so that he wouldn't have his back exposed. Nobody liked to be shot in the back, but as far as Mimi was concerned it wasn't pleasent to be stabbed there either. She almost laughed as he lunged forward, moving as if to protect her from the gun. As if she needed protecting. She was in her element, this is what she'd been born for. If somebody pointed a gun at her, they'd regret it. If they were stupid enough to pull the trigger, she wouldn't give them enough time to regret it. Still, there was something about the way he moved to protect her that cast her mind back to the way he'd thrown himself before Ashi for her. To save her. Protect her, and keep her safe. The memories had made her smile before, but now they hurt. They were cruel, mocking and bitter. Laughing at her. She almost fired a second shot, just to drown them out but managed to mantain some level of calm. Perhaps that was just her training though, becuase right now she really wanted to shoot Cal. Maybe not through the heart, she wans't sure if she wanted him dead at the moment... But maybe in the foot. Yes, the foot would be good...

"No, actually I don't think I will."

She said coldly, flexing her fingers slightly. She felt oddly at home gripping the weaopan, and she wasn't about to surrender it just because Cal wanted her too. In fact, that was even more of an incentive to keep it firmly in her grip. Besides, this was her only defence against him. He was faster and stronger than her. She didn't think he'd ever attack her, but he might try and escape her. He could outrun her. Neither of them knew if he could outrun a bullet, and she was near certain that was keeping him standing there even though she could see he was dying to run. She studied his face for a moment, though she was careful to avoid his eyes. She had a suspicion that if she looked into the honey depths, she might melt. Or at least, thaw a little and she wasn't ready to surrender yet. So she'd stay cold, and angry and she'd avoid his gaze untill she was sure she could handle it. His eyes were quite powerful, or at least the effect they had on her was. She wasn't sure if that was actually Cal, or just her. She wasn't intending to find out right now either.

"So tell me Cal, do you make a habit of picking girls up in the gym?"

She questioned with a sweetness that was clearly fake. She didn't even bother to make it convincing, she kept it condescending, patronising and full of not-so-supressed anger. She lifted the gun slightly, so it was now pointing at one of his limbs rather than the floor. Her steely gaze didn't waver, her eyes only narrowed.

"Or am I just special?"

She asked with a short, bitter laugh, though the hurt and the anger still coursed through her slim frame.

[Seishou Tougyo]

There was something odd about the way Mimi looked with a gun. It was like this was what she was born to do, you know, barge in to her boyfriends room and shoot the floor, then threaten him with the very same gun. It was a bit strange about how comfortable she was weilding the gun, like it was more her friend than just a simple weapon used for shooting floors. It made Cal panic to see her so angry. What on earth had made her this upset. Her refusal to let the weapon go only confirmed his theories. Perhaps her dad had been a bit of a phycho too, but in this current status, he wasnt going to question her dads mental health. For a moment he considered moving towards her, trying to soothe her enough to get the gun away from her. It was times like these that you needed Joucho to be here. She may have had the heart to rescue Cal. Then again, she probably would have found it hilarious. His thoughts were cut short as her venemous tones filled the room again. As he regestered her words, and the after comment she injected in, a shock ran across his face.

"Tsuki? This is all about Tsuki?"

And perhaps the stupidest thing he did was to let out a shaky laugh. For the thing was, he could find nothing more hilarious. There was never anything going on between him and Tsuki. There never would be if he had any say in the matter. All he could see when he closed his eyes was Mimi. She filled his existance, blocking out everything else that had once seemed important to him. He just didnt know how to tell her that she meant that much to him. His hands shot to his face as he breathed out against, a frustrated groan following at the same time. When he spun back around, however, he noticed Mimi's gun pointed a little higher, towards one of his limbs. He froze, eyes flickering from Mimi to the gun in a nanosecond. It was not a good idea to take his eyes off of her.

"Mimi, you have this completely wrong. She found me, and nothing happened. Okay, so I lent her my trousers but--"

He stopped short, eyes flickering down to her gun again. He was digging this whole deeper and deeper by the second. All he really wanted to do was tell her that all he needed was her, all he ever wanted was her. But as it happened, he couldn't put that feeling in to words at this precise moment. He let out another shaky breath as he took a step towards her. This was going to be a long conversation... If only he could get her to drop the gun. It would make his life a whole lot easier.

[Mezamashii Hatsumei]

[/i]?"

She demanded in a low growl, her eyes flashing with rage once more. The moment he stepped forward, her hand snapped up, bringing the gun with it. In that one swift, practised movement the threat had gone from his leg and now rested in his chest. For that was exactly where the gun was pointed, directly at his heart. There was no tremble to her hand, no uncertaintiy in her grip. She was in her element, and this was her warning. She would shoot. She was sure of it. Well, almost sure. Maybe there was the flickering of doubt it her, a tiny part that wondered if she could lose him so close to finding him. We'll she wouldn't lose him, it wouldn't be accidental. It would be murder. Could she really murder him?

"You're shirt with me, your trousers with her. Is it your habit to strip off for girls in gyms, Cal? Am I just another part of your fun little game?"

She snarled.[/ul]

[Seishou Tougyo]

He could almost see the rage swirling around her and it made him once again stop. What on earth he was thinking, stepping closer to her when she had a gun, he did not know. But it was something he perhaps should have done. For a moment, he stood, gazing at her face and hoping to God that a portal would pop conveniantly out of the ground and swallow him. He was hurting her and he didnt even do anything. When he found out who had been spreading shit about him behind his back, Cal was going to go mental. His thoughts were once again slammed short as her disgusted tones split through his head.

Okay, so, mistake number one had obviously been going to Eastwood and meeting Tsuki. But, to be fair he hadnt know that would happen. He had been careless, and his ins defense, he hadnt even known Mimi at that time. Mistake number two. He had laughed at her. Well, technically he hadnt laughed at her. He was laughing at how reidiculous this whole situation was. She was pointing a gun at his leg because of something that happened days before they even met. Mistake number three. He had mentioned the trousers situation. Now that he looked back on it, it was kind of predictable. He had only take off his shirt because it was soaked, if that was any kind of saviour.

"Is that what you really think of me Mimi? You really think that little of me that you expect me to just fuck with you and leave you for the wolves? Well, quite frankly, I'm disappointed. This whole thing is pointless because nothing went on with me and Tsuki. So yeah, I gave her my pants because I wanted her to show me what she could do. I had shorts underneath. However, before you start going on about how that is unacceptable, let me just point out that I met Tsuki before I even knew you. Why would I deliberatly back-stab you?"

It was then that he noticed the gun pointed at his chest. His breath hitched in his throat as he stood there, hands stretched out towards her as if somehow, this geusture might make her understand. From the steel look in her eyes, his efforts had been wasted. Taking a shaky breath, he dropped his hands to his side, a defeated look on his face. However, he may look defeated, but he certainly wasn't down and out. There was still fight in him as he turned back to Mimi, once again trying to catch her eye. Maybe there was hope... But he very much doubted it.

[Mezamashii Hatsumei]

Mimi stayed very silent as his words reached across the chasm that now seemed to divide them. How had it come to this? How had it gone from him being the only thing she needed to hold on to, to him being everything she hated. Everything she'd been warned against, everything that would hurt her. How could she have been so stupid, so trusting? The questions buzzed like angry bee's in her head. She't let her gaurd down, and now she'd got hurt. Simple. But this time she wasn't sure how she was going to fix the wound. For a moment she was still and silent, but it was only the calm before the storm.

"I don't know what to think! You haven't given me a chance to think Cal! You just came in, swept me off my feet and whisked me off in a whirlwind! But now it's like you've just dropped me back to earth again... And it hurts!"

She shouted, her eyes glittering slightly, a sparkle in the steel. She looked at Cal then, actually met his eyes for the first time since she'd burst in to the room. She them remembered why she hadn't done this earlier. For as she caught sight of the golden, honey-like optics, she was trapped. They held her there, wide and imploring and filled with emotion. Begging her to understand. Looking into his eyes, it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered but him. Cal. Her resolve weakened, and the gun lowered slowly, her grip relaxing slightly. Her lips were parted slightly, and the lower lip even quivvered slightly, while her eyes sparkled. She wasn't going to cry though...

"No..."

She murmured the word softly, not sure if she was speaking to herself or to Cal. She couldn't think straight, entrapped by his eyes. It was like he'd hypnotised her. Then she blinked. Once, twice... Half a dozen times. She shook her head slightly as her eyelids fluttered, freeing herself from his spell.

"No!"

She said again, angrier this time as she remembered why she'd been angry in the first place. Her eyes hardened again, the sparkle gone though they were still bright. She didn't raise the gun again, though her posture warned that she would do so in a moments notice.

"You don't get it, do you? You have no idea how much this hurts me? You think it's god-damn hilarious! Well, I don't!"

[Seishou Tougyo]

His words seemed to have an effect on her. There was no sharp remark that stung with bitterness. There was no bang and then the nothingness that he assumed came with death. There was silence. It was like blowing up a balloon, filling it with air so that it blew outwards, growing bigger and bigger so that the air inside it began to get larger. However, Mimi wasn't keeping the silence. She spoke, her depserate voice cutting him deep. And then she looked in to his eyes. And all he could do was plead with her, the tenderness replaced was a fierce, depserate need for her to understand. His eyebrows were knitted together in concentration as he tried to hard to say all the things he couldn't in one look.

"I'm sorry..."

He whispered, so quietly that she wouldn't have been able to hear him. He was still gazing at her, and the impulse to touch her, to hold her was almost enough to have him on running across the room. She had lowered the gun, a good enough sign. But there was a sparkle in the steel of her eyes. A tear. A whimper almost escaped him. He was incapable of comforting her and he was lost, helpless, screaming out without ever actually saying anything. It took everything for him to keep control, to keep the tears he would cry in there, locked up and shut away. She spoke a word, but he didnt hear her. He was a statue. He had hurt her and now he was feeling it. It cut him. It sliced in into the tiniest of pieces and then she spat on him. She spoke, accusing him of finding this whole situation funny. There was nothing he could do.

"I-I... I don't know what to say to you Mimi. I didn't do anything with Tsuki, there was never and there will never be anything going on. You don't know how sorry I am that I hurt you, and I dont think there will ever be a way for me to tell you that. But I am, and there is nothing I can do to turn back time. I would if I could, I would in the blink of an eye. I never meant to hurt you... my tiny dancer"

He whispered the last three words as he crumpled to the floor. He didnt care where he landed, whether or not his feet were in odd angles or whether or his face was squashed against the ground. He lay there, feeling utterly useless. For a moment, he breahed deeply, taking in the funky-smelling carpet smell. He needed to get back up, but his body wouldn't respond. So instead, he twisted so that he was sat crossed legged on the floor. He gazed up at her, once more trying to catch her eyes... It had worked before, it may just work again.

[Mezamashii Hatsumei]

Mimi bit her lip as he spoke, stopping it from trembling even in the slightest. She'd be strong, she would be! She wouldn't jsut give in to his pretty words, and desperate pleading. She could though, it would be very easy. In fact at the moment she couldn't think of anything more appealing than his arms, the idea of being wrapped up and held close. Held safe. He'd been her sheild, and now she was standing alone on the battlefeild. Alone on the firing line, facing down the squad with nothing and nobody one her side. Yet he was the one who'd fallen to the floor while she was still standing tall. Well, as tall as she could be. It seemed ironic in a cruel, twisted sense but also oddly fitting. He was breaking her, but he was the one falling apart. She was going to hold this together, she was. She was going to survive, and keep on surviving. That was all she could do for the moment, stay alive. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Though she had to admit that the future didn't seem all that appealing. She was compelled to go to his side, to smooth her hand through his tangled locks, to stroke his cheek and kiss his lips. Her heart lurched as she looked at him, and she felt the tears rising. She wasn't going to let them fall though, how could she stand to let even more weakness show? She was breaking, and she didn't want to be broken.

"You're tiny dancer..."

She repeated softly, her voice taking an odd timbre; somewhere between sorrow and rage. Slowly, as if she was being held down she stepped backwards. Another step, and another. She retreated, her glittering eyes never leaving his form. How could he be so broken, when he was the one smashing everything? It didn't make sense. Why was she feeling guilty? So she'd threatened him at gun-point, but that wasn't really such a crime. Well it was if you thought about it, but she hadn't actually shot him. Or verbally threatened to shoot him. He'd just picked up on the hints with imppecabble clarity. That wasn't her fault! None of this was her fault. He'd done this, he'd hurt her. He'd left it to Taira to tell her, he hadn't hadn't once mentioned it. It was taken for granted that he went out to flirt with other girls, pretty girls who wore short skirts and could flutter their lashes like they were born to do it. How could she compete with that? How could she stand next to the others when all she could do was play with bits of metal. Tsuki was linked with the moon! She was serene, and graceful and elegent and Mimi was emotional, and stupid and... The tears were blurring her vision.

"Maybe you'd be happier with a different partner!"

She managed to choke out the words before the sobs came, and then she turned and ran, her feet pounding on the floor, as she headed towards safety. To a place where he couldn't find her, where she could take out her anger. She didn't think twice, she just ran for the darkness so she could hide in the shadows. She ran to the Hive.

[Seishou Tougyo]

She was cracking. Cal could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the almost visible longing that pounded out of her energy. If he hadn't been so afraid of the gun in her hands, he would have gotten to his feet, swept her off her little feet and tried desperatly to tell her how sorry he was for not telling her something so insignificant. Some things you just forgot about. And now his life was crashing down around him. He wasn't strong enough to stand alone while his world was destroyed. Sooner or later, he would come tumbling down. She murmered something, an echo of previous words and he knew that that was it.

"Please..."

He whispered, so gently that the catch in his voice, the sob rising in his body wasn't detectable. And then, like an explosion, she said the final words and she was gone. He had caught the tears in her eyes, heard the sob as she fled. But none of that mattered compared to the words that had come before that. She told him to find another partner. The emotion that found him first was a numb nothingness. He couldn't feel, wouldn't feel a thing until Mimi came back. Then there was disbelief. She finished with him? Doubt crept slowly but surely in to him after that. He always knew that he hadn't been good enough. She was so special and what was he? Nothing, thats what he was. And as that thought crashed the final blow, the tears came. And with the tears came the anger.

His shouts were barely recognisable as words, but he still shouted. He launched himself at the door, slamming in to it so hard that it almost came off of its hinges. It wasn't the satisfaction he needed. With a superhuman effort, he launched his bed across the room towards Tommy's side. Tears streaked down his face as he continued to throw and smash until at last, he curled up in the corner of his room, knees tucked up his his chest, head hung down in that little cubby-hole he had made. And he was lost once again.